Hannah- Queen of The Royal Bitches!!! (hannipants) wrote in silent_torture,
Hannah- Queen of The Royal Bitches!!!
hannipants
silent_torture

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Um, new.

Hello, my name is Hannah and I am new here, and have no idea what to do.
What shall I say? I am a gril who lives in australia, and I am 14. I don't have a great life, but its a reasonably good one.
My parents aren't divorced (Thogh I wish they were) and I go to a good school, with some pretty great friends. But despite this, I hate my life. I want to die.
There is nothing "so bad" in my life. But I don't see any point in carrying on with it.
Last year, when I was 13, I began to hurt myself intentionally. I have always been morbid, and fascinated by torture and death. When I was little, i would lie in bed on sunday and pretend I was a prisoner and I was being tortured. I would perform little pains on myslef.
My friend Ellie found out I was cutting, but she could do nothing. Some days, I am normal. But lot of days, I hurt for no reason.
What is wrong with me? I hate being like this!
But I have decided that if I do not feel better by the end of next year, I am taking things into my own hands. Either that or I am already dead.
Please help me!
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  • 8 comments
you should seep professional help. a livejournal can be here as an outlet for your frustrations and support, but you need to see a psychologist, counselor, or psychiatrist.
I have told my dad I need help. I sa our school counsellour, but she was no help. She makes anyone there feel inferior. And despite the fact I go to a really expensive school, my parents can't afford to get me help.
I DO use LJ as an outlet. And I offend my friends, coz now they read it!
Why do I need help?
would you go to a livejournal community about hearts if you needed open heart surgery? would you go to a friend or a teacher if you needed open heart surgery? likewise, depression is an illness that should be treated by a professional. i wouldn't want to give you advice more than that because i don't want to be responsible for how you interpret my advice and how you act it out. i'm not qualified to do that. i can listen and talk to you, but i can't help you. and if you don't need help, why are you looking for it?
You present good points. I was just wondering why you said I need help though. I never said I didn't need it.

Deleted comment

Its a bit late. The school counsellour made me an appointment and (with my permission) has now told my dad and the school Dean. Have you got help? Don't give up. Okay?

Anonymous

February 22 2005, 03:15:05 UTC 14 years ago

you dont know deppresion until you watch children in bombay eating their desceased and stuffing their noses in coke
watch your fucking mouth before you utter anything about rape,abuse,drugs,addiction,disorders
GET OVER IT
everyone else has!
your poetry is shitshitsitshit!
you try to write bullshit using words you dont even understand
yout hink your the only one but their are triillions ME YOU THEM THEY US WE
you dont kill yourself because your egocentric you want to be noticed all the fucking time and you get it
and you eat it up with a spoona nd a fork and a knife
choke on your own satisfaction
*raises eyebrows* You know, I don't give a damn about what you said. I mean it doesn't affect me.
And I do know my poetry is shit and crap and all. And I actually know what the words mean. I may not know what alot means, but I do write about stuff I know.
And not everyone has gotten over it. There are heaps of people here who do all this stuff, but on a larger scale.
Just a question: why do you bother reading this if all you are gonna do is be a bitch?
No one asked for your sympathy and simply pointing out that there are much worse things in the world is not going to help anyone. Not everyone gets over their problems like that *snaps fingers* and as far as her poetry is concerned who cares what YOU think about it you obviously dont know anything anyhow. I think that telling people that they are egocentric is a means of also telling them that you are egocentric yourself your still alive right. lets face it self centered was not even an issue till you brought it up and to be honest no one even knows why you brought it up. So you did a very nice job at pointing out nothing and I applaud you for that *claps* but if you really want to make an impact do us all a favor and go fuck yourself.