April 15th, 2005

"without the threat the death, there's no reason to live at all..."

hey.
I've been searching for a community to belong to, something I can finally be accepted into; since reality seems to be an endless disappointment. I hope to find solace here, and hopefully recieve support from those who will be able to comprehend the insane thoughts, that maybe race through their mind too.
I cut. Because of the control it gives me over the pain. I love to be the one in charge of my own pain, no one has the right to inflict it upon me. The slashes never seem deep enough, because of the fear, and partially because I have no tools to make a cut deep enough. Any suggestions for the best tool at minimum hassle? Music, writing and blood seem to be my only companions these days; pathetic if you ask me.
Well, I only wanted to introduce myself and attempt to be a part of this community; to see and understand how it works, since I know not how they function. I bid you all adeiu, until next time.
later...

"Scar, scar, can you feel my power? One shot and the world gets smaller..."
  • Current Music
    The Reflecting God - Marilyn Manson