February 17th, 2005

Um, new.

Hello, my name is Hannah and I am new here, and have no idea what to do.
What shall I say? I am a gril who lives in australia, and I am 14. I don't have a great life, but its a reasonably good one.
My parents aren't divorced (Thogh I wish they were) and I go to a good school, with some pretty great friends. But despite this, I hate my life. I want to die.
There is nothing "so bad" in my life. But I don't see any point in carrying on with it.
Last year, when I was 13, I began to hurt myself intentionally. I have always been morbid, and fascinated by torture and death. When I was little, i would lie in bed on sunday and pretend I was a prisoner and I was being tortured. I would perform little pains on myslef.
My friend Ellie found out I was cutting, but she could do nothing. Some days, I am normal. But lot of days, I hurt for no reason.
What is wrong with me? I hate being like this!
But I have decided that if I do not feel better by the end of next year, I am taking things into my own hands. Either that or I am already dead.
Please help me!
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